Mail-in rebates keep her connected to the outside world.
Cracker Jacks provides all her jewelry.
She only sings on Wednesday, and she doesn't believe in tomorrow.

Alphabet soup means profanity in a bowl,
And magnetic poetry means gibberish on the fridge.
Her Barbies are all named after Biblical figures,
And Judas is her favorite.

She was born in August, but swears it was June,
And no one's ever known why.
The only thing she's ever loved is the concept of death --
That one day she will be six feet away from all of life's imperfections.

Pain is always capitalized,
love is always lowercased,
And O. J.  didn't do it.

She's very religious --
A dedicated Hypocrite.
Hypocrisy is a beautiful thing,
And Judas listens as she sings it's praises
...but only on Wednesday.

Christmas lights stay up year-round, and sandals must be worn with socks.
She goes jogging at midnight, and follows the moon wherever it may lead her.
Smiling is a sign of weakness, and frowning shows good character.

She believes in fairies, but rainbows are bad luck --
And she always skips the eleventh step.
She wears a jacket over her shorts,
And no one's ever asked why.

She offered him a heart of glass, not knowing he was of her kind.
A dedicated Hypocrite,
He tinted the glass and filled it with famous quotes and movie lines.

She crumbled at his touch...
She was never meant to be a blockbuster.